May 2013
psilentasincjelli:
If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and...
fruitpunchg:
“ooooohhh” i say as i still dont understand
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mebeingweird:
bondoge:
do u ever listen to a song and u like forget ur listening to it and when it’s almost over ur just like what
and then u repeat the song but then it happens again
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(A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
(The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
(Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
(The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)
vegasmic:
derek-who:
fullmetal-dipshit:
the-nicest-asshole:
UK grading system 75-100 A+ 70-74 A 64-69 A- 60-63 B+ 55-59 B 50-54 B- 46-49 C+ 43-45 C 38-42 C- 35-37 D 0-34
Time to move to the UK
Dude I would kill for that grading scale
I WOULD HAVE THE HIGHEST GPA RIGHT NOW ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
Mannn, fuck that.
Tumblr Code.
If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “i have a huge anal gap”
that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything
I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person
must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!
Remember the answer is: i love drinking cum.
Tumblr: I am a strong and independent blue website who don't need no Yahoo
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Now my stepdad and stepbrother are real men because they’re BBQing… Oh, men.
can you imagine if someone sent you a list of all the reasons why they love you.
whoatakeiteasyman:
If you’re my only friend in a class and you choose someone else when the teacher says to pick partners thats it, game over pal, you’re dead to me
profrumbleroar:
mountincest:
lovemetoinfinity:
fatdough:
rewind-and-restart:
mountincest:
school doesnt even test your intelligence it tests your memory
it tests my patience
it tests my ability to hold my pee
it tests my ability to keep calm and not slap a bitch
whoa
There are four types of people at school.
First you have your Ravenclaws
then your Hufflepuffs
then your...
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